


Kids These Days

by cynthia1960



Category: Blaseball (Video Game), Chicago Firefighters - Fandom, Dallas Steaks, Hades Tigers - Fandom, KEXP (radio station), Seattle Garages - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Team as Family, feedback is a bitch and so am I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26643754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynthia1960/pseuds/cynthia1960
Summary: The newest member of the Hades Tigers reflects on the events of the last month and a half bouncing from Dallas to Seattle to the Underworld and her impressions of some of her latest teammates.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Kids These Days

**Author's Note:**

> "If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell." - General Philip Henry Sheridan

Season 8, Day 88, The Home Plate, Tartarus, Hades

A grey haired woman sits sipping tea in the dining area of a large house. A plate of partially eaten shortbread cookies sits next to her saucer. Paula Mason finally has a little bit of time to think without being surrounded by teammates, most of them so incredibly young, and even more kids who rely on this house for shelter and safety.

She knows that by the calendar, Mummy Melcon is the oldest Tiger by several millennia due to several protracted stays in various underworlds, but there is something still young about Mummy. The cup of excellent tea Mummy brewed for her was accompanied by a little tale about places she'd like to see between mummifications. Paula thinks maybe Mummy ought to hold off on visiting the various La Brea Tar Pits in the infinite Los Angeli if she wants to spend a decade or two above ground this time. She hears Carmelo making happy sounds back in the kitchen, churning out batches and batches of cookies, which are damn good. She's just glad she got a plate of her own because oh Lord, these kids can **eat**.

The first time Paula was caught in the feedback, she found herself in Dallas. She was used to visiting the Metroplex on road trips with the Firefighters, and had developed a fondness for Wlhatablurgers. Daydreaming about a patty melt ended up being the random thought that plopped her on the Steaks bench, playing against her former team. She settled in with her new team, and helped promote her favorite fast food to Steaks fans. Watching the Firefighters win the season 5 championship was bittersweet; they are from Chicago, and so is she.

Paula's head is still reeling a bit from going through feedback loops twice in a month and a half. Jaylen Hotdogfingers of the Garages had been returned from the dead, and she came back wrong. This season, Jaylen's predilection for hitting opponents by pitches made them flicker, and then feedback to the opposing team when the weather was right. That's what caught her on day 56 playing the Garages. 

Seattle was a huge change from Dallas, and the kids seemed to be obsessed with two things: blaseball and music. They were so damn enthusiastic about their obsessions, and were excited about their latest song releases on Bandcamp. They were trying to get in touch with Eva at KEXP to see if Eva can get their music played during her Northwest music show on Saturday evenings. Paula got handed a guitar, and began basic lessons. Her teammates started calling her Bandma, and she actually got somewhat fond of the short, fast, and loud punk music that followed Eva's show. It reminded her of when she was as young as they were, listening to the Clash and the Sex Pistols, and above all, the Ramones. There was only one teammate she was reluctant to get close to because Jaylen Hotdogfingers was surrounded by an aura of dread. 

The third time Paula was caught in the feedback, the Garages were playing the Tigers on day 71. Even from the Garages bench, she could sense the resentment and pain of the Tigers. Last season in the space of three days, Jaylen's debt to the Blaseball Gods caused four beloved Tigers to be incinerated. Paula hates incineration, after all, she started off as a Firefighter, and they're all about playing ball and putting out fires. Feedback at least didn't kill you. Jaylen had seemed almost uncanny in her ability to hit the Tigers' top batters in this series. She had nailed Paula Turnip the previous day on her first at-bat, and then went on to hit three other Tigers in the same game. Today's weather was prime feedback weather, and the Tigers feared they would be losing several valued stripes of the One Tiger. Paula Turnip walked to home plate for her turn at bat, the feedback flared, and Paula Mason found herself in Tiger stripes. Oh shit, not **again**.

Paula went on playing the game she loved, now in the bowels of the Underworld. She realized that that old joke about renting out Texas and living in Hell actually had some basis in fact. She took Paula the Tree's place in the lineup, and her hits, base stealing, and fielding helped her find a tentative place as a Tiger. Paula also realized that the Tigers were sensing the small portion of Landry Violence that had given her renewed strength after an unfortunate allergic reaction to a peanut back in season 3. Paula was glad that she didn't directly precede Duffy in the batting order. For a very unremarkable ordinary human, he was a damn good hitter. He was also in peanut form, and she really didn't want to take any more chances with nuts.

Paula moved into the house Paula the Tree owned for temporary housing. Her teammates told her she should go use the other Paula's room. When Carmelo was on cooking detail, the food was excellent. Mummy's cooking left a slight peaty taste in the mouth. Her housemates seemed to be far less interested in music here in Hades; the most famed musician in the Underworld was also the play by play broadcaster for the Tigers, but he specialized in the harp. Guitars were anachronistic. Fortunately, the house seemed to have decent high speed internet, and Paula could listen to the stream of KEXP on her phone. 

She looked out the window and watched Richmond play outside. Everybody loved Rich, he was the sweetest 12 foot tall growing boy everyone had ever met. Paula would love to get a hug from Rich, but she would need to commandeer a ladder truck from Chicago in order to get up there. He had recently got bonked yet again by Jaylen, and the Tigers and their fans were as one working whatever protection they could manage to keep him a Tiger. Paula looked back down at the plate of cookies, which was now empty. Somebody managed to snarf the last few cookies while she was looking out the window, damn it. And her tea was getting cold.

**Author's Note:**

> KEXP (90.3 FM, kexp.org) in Seattle is the best radio station on this planet. Check it out.


End file.
